Mystery Mess
by Love or lust
Summary: It's a total joke, I actully handed this into my teacher last year...lol. A south-park inspired story! Read it for kicks, you'd be suprised that I actully got an A, for "entertaining idea's" Enjoy!


> You'll probably figure out that Jenny- is Stan, Sara is Kyle and chelsie is  
Cartman, alicia is Butters, and Kenny is himself. These are all real people  
(Jenny being me) and believe it or not I didn't get in any trouble for  
making fun of people! Damn my teacher must have been cool... I did this in  
Grade.7. I just found this under my bed... still can't believe I wrote  
it...lol. Anyways read and review as usual!  
Jenny  
  
**Mystery Mess  
**  
It was a dark and stormy day in the town of Nakusp. Jenny, chelsie (notice  
I didn't put a capital for chelsie because she isn't important), Sara, and  
Kenny were walking in silence. Just as they were passing Marv's Bargain  
Warehouse all of a sudden a 100-pound anvil dropped out of the sunny blue  
sky and squashes Kenny into the ground. A dark puddle of blood pours out  
from under the anvil.  
"We'' there's something you don't see everyday", Jenny commented wiping the  
sweat from the heat off her forehead. The three started walking again. They  
reached an arcade. Anyone, even someone who had never seen the arcade  
before could notice it. It had a sign the size of a large rectangular  
trampoline that read: The Arcade and the walls of the building were painted  
neon green and aqua blue.  
"I'd like the four person deal please", Sara said to the counter guy.  
"Um there's only three of you", the guy said.  
"God damn it", chelsie (as you see again there is no capital in her name)  
cried out.  
"We need to find a new friend", Jenny announced.  
"It can't just be anyone. It has to be someone cool", Sara says. While Sara  
was blabbing on about finding someone cool. Chelsie (I had to use a capital  
because it is the beginning of a sentence) called alicia over.  
"What not alicia", Jenny cried.  
"Yah she's not cool", Sara whined.  
"Listen guys I don't like her either but the deals only on for like a year  
or something and I want to go in", chelsie explained in front of alicia.  
"Th-thanks guys it's really swell of you to hang out with me. We can be be-  
best buddies", alicia said. The other three had already gone in the arcade.  
"Oh gosh darn it" alicia said snapping her fingers.  
  
After about 7 minutes of playing arcade games Jenny, Sara, and chelsie were  
getting annoyed even though the arcade was filled with everything the kids  
love such as over 800 different arcade games, candy machine, and other time  
wasters.  
"My god, alicia sucks at this game", Jenny said getting angry.  
"She sucks at every game", chelsie said.  
"I miss Kenny", Sara said.  
"What happened to him anyway?" Jenny asked.  
"I don't know lets go find him", Sara said. Jenny, Sara, and chelsie try to  
leave as quickly as possible without alicia noticing. The girls walk down  
the street a ways then stop to put on their sunglasses which they needed  
from the intense sunlight, and then noticed an a anvil. Then also notice  
blood pouring out from under it and a little arm with an orange parka  
covering it.  
"The body has Kenny's parka", chelsie said.  
"And Kenny's blood", Jenny noticed.  
"Hmm", all the girls sigh, thinking. "I know lets search for clues and all  
meet back here in an hour", Sara said. All the girls split up. Back at the  
arcade  
"I-I've been wanting to be friends with you guys f-for a long time it's  
awful swell of you t-to give me a shot" alicia blabs on not looking up to  
notice they're gone.  
Chelsie (I had to do a capital because it was the beginning of a sentence)  
walked for awhile then decided to look in Kenny's house. The house she was  
looking at was a burgundy red and had a large upper deck on the top floor.  
"It looks different then before, when did they get a door?" chelsie  
said to herself walking inside the door. The house was sort of a Victorian  
style and had brass stair railing. She walks upstairs to Kenny's room. "Hey  
when did they get stairs?" she asked herself. Everything looked normal, a  
little cleaner then usual, and the double bed was made and all the clothes  
were neatly folded or tossed in the dirty clothes hamper. She was about to  
turn and leave when she noticed big red writing on the lavender colored  
wall. "Wow Kenny's family can afford paint?" she said. The writing on the  
wall to her right read: GEMREDRUM. "Gem red rum?" chelsie wondered out  
loud. "Oh well nothing suspicious here", chelsie said leaving to meet the  
other two. They met back at the anvil. Surprisingly Marv hasn't noticed  
there is a little person squashed under an anvil in front of his store.  
"Did you guys find anything?" chelsie asked.  
"Um yah I found a great pair of shoes, yummy ice-cream," Jenny started.  
"No I mean about Kenny", chelsie said.  
"What about Kenny, he's right here", Jenny said pointing to Kenny.  
"Hey dude", Kenny waved at chelsie.  
"Oh then who's that?" chelsie points to the person under the anvil.  
"Well did you find anything about Kenny missing?" Sara chuckled.  
"No, but do we know somebody by the name of Gem?" chelsie asked.  
"I think Meg's nickname is Gem" Jenny said.  
"Do we know someone named Red Rum?" chelsie asked.  
"Red Rum is alcohol, you turd" Jenny cried.  
"Well she's an alcoholic" chelsie said.  
"What are you talking about chelsie?" Kenny asked.  
"Well it says on Kenny's wall GEMREDRUM", chelsie replied.  
"What?" they ask again.  
"Show us", Sara said. When they reached "Kenny's" house they read the  
mailbox that said "Butter's".  
"Dude, this isn't Kenny's house! It's alicia's house" Jenny said. They went  
in anyway, they reached what chelsie had thought to be Kenny's room  
actually being alicia's room.  
"I don't see anything", Sara said. Chelsie (argh) pointed to the huge red  
writing on the wall.  
"That doesn't say Gem Red Rum it says Murder Meg!" Jenny pointed.  
"Murder Meg?" chelsie said. She turns around and sees a mirror on alicia's  
dresser. In the mirror she sees the reflection of the words backwards.  
"Oh" chelsie said.  
"You never told us you were dyslexic" Kenny said.  
"What's that?" chelsie asked.  
"It means you see letters in a different order or backwards." Jenny told  
her.  
"Oh", chelsie said pretending to understand.  
"Oh h-hey guys" alicia greeted them coming in her own room.  
"alicia go away" chelsie told her.  
"B-but this is my room" alicia told her.  
"alicia!" Sara cried out pointing at her.  
"W-what?" alicia asked.  
"You killed Meg!" Sara announced.  
"How did you know?" alicia asked.  
"Because you wrote this on your wall, and we saw Meg under the anvil you  
dropped on her, everyone knows she has Kenny's same parka" Sara said.  
"And Kenny's blood" Jenny pointed out.  
"I thought I killed Meg at first too" alicia said,  
"Huh? What do you mean? You did kill her" Jenny said.  
"As I said I thought I did too, but I think I actually killed Kenny" alicia  
finished.  
"What are you talking about Kenny's right here" Sara pointed.  
"This is boring so screw you guys I'm going home" chelsie pointed at the  
door before leaving.  
"Well there's only one way to find out if you killed Meg or Kenny" Sara  
said.  
"Everyone knows Meg and Kenny look identical from the outside but Kenny has  
blue eyes and Meg has one blue and one brown", Jenny says yanking off the  
hood.  
"One blue eye and one brown eye", alicia said.  
"So you killed Kenny!" Jenny said.  
"You bastard", Sara yelled and pointed. They sit there in silence for a  
moment.  
"Let's go play tetherball" Jenny announced.  
"Yeah!" the others cheered.  
"Except alicia" Jenny added.  
"Yeah!" everyone but alicia cheered. They left to play tetherball. They all  
lead on to have fun filled lives except alicia who turned miserable from  
having no friends and now tries to destroy the world. She now goes by the  
name of Professor Chaos and is HIV positive.


End file.
